It took me 28 years to understand and feel the pain my mom has been living thru.
How i wish i could rewind my life and treat her better.
I used to think that all mom are just a pain in the neck.
They are just particular about everything.
And so, i did things that hurt her feelings.
Shouting, slamming the door, staying out at night, working in pub and many more.
Sometimes i wonder how did she pass her days?
If im her, im sure to be weeping everyday quietly in my room.
Now then i realise why mom are so particular about everything.
Its because they love us too much, and wants us to become a better person.
if, we changed, they will be paranoid that we may become worse.
Hence they become strict.
Its also because, she scrimp and save and take care of me since i was a baby
But every step that i make is just going against her.
21/10/2011, after hearing what mom talks about the pass, i truely felt regret.
With such a father, bringing me and my brother up was really very tough.
I still can remember last time she used to use sewing machine to make pillow covers to earn money.
Life was hard, we stay in a 2 room flat. But i was never lack of anything.
Why do i only realise her pain when im already 28?
And i imagine her living with 2 kids who always break her heart, and a husband who don't care.
Who does she turn to?
I still remember i used to let her fry fishballs for children's day, for me to bring to school.
She used to walk me to school and everything.
But when i started to grow up, walking to school with mom seems very kiddish.
I even ask her to stop doing that.
Regrets.
Oh yes, i recalled something.
When i was still very young, i have one auntie, she asked mom to let her be my god mother.
As in 'jie bai' that type.
Mom ask me( i was still a kid)
But i rejected. i clearly know who is my mom and mom, there's only one.
One who will treat you right, and who u must be faithful to.
Therefore i can't share my love with other mom.
Dear, if i ever die one day before my mom, pls let her see this page.
Tell her that i never stop loving her.
Pls take good care of her for me if im ever gone.
